The following contains excerpts from the book, QBQ (Question Behind the Question) (John G. Miller).
At our music school in Midland, Texas we believe that music is more than sound, it is relationships. In Leadership, relationships matter, and the first step towards leading others is learning to lead one’s self well.
“Who is this book written for? Anyone who’s ever heard questions like these:
‘When is that department goinQg to do its job?’
‘Why don’t they communicate better?’
‘Who dropped the ball/’
Why do we have to go through all this change?’
‘When is someone going to train me?’
These questions seem innocent enough, but they indicate a lack of personal responsibility…Conversely, turning our thinking around and asking more personally accountable questions is one of the most powerful and effective things we can do to improve our organizations and our lives.”
This is a popular leadership-themed book, centered around the idea of personal accountability and autonomy.
“Incorrect Questions, or IQ’s…nothing positive or productive comes from asking them…The essence of the QBQ: Making better choices in the moment by asking better questions…’What can I do to help out?’ And ‘How can I provide value to you?’…We always have a choice. Always. Even deciding not to choose is making a choice. Realizing this and taking responsibility for our choices is a big step toward making great things happen in our lives.”
At our music school in Midland, Texas we believe that teaching music is more than just ‘teaching music,’ rather students learn life-skills that will influence all decisions.
“The Question Behind the Question is built on the observation that our first reactions are often negative, bringing to mind Incorrect Questions. But if in each moment of decision we can instead discipline our thoughts to look behind those initial questions and ask better ones, the questions themselves will lead us to better results.
- Begin with ‘What’ or ‘How’ (not ‘Why,’ ‘When,’ or ‘Who’)
- Contain an ‘I’ (not ‘they,’ them,’ ‘we,’ or ‘you’)
- Focus on action
“Eliminate victim thinking…Stress is a choice, because whatever the ‘trigger event,’ we always choose our own response…Stress is also the result of our choices. When we choose to ask a question like ‘Why is this happening to me?’ we feel as if we have no control. This leads us to a victim mindset.”
When students at our music school in Midland, Texas learn accountability in their practice and performance, they also understand the value of accountability in life.
“Conditions change, markets change, people change. What works one day in a given situation does not necessarily work in the next…ask…‘How can I adapt to the changing world?’”
“Every organization has imperfect systems and finite resources…Ironically, succeeding with what we have makes us more likely to get the things we wanted in the first place…focus…energy on succeeding within the box…We don’t need the ‘new’ thing or the ‘hot’ topic. What we need to do is practice the fundamentals – like personal accountability – day in and day out.”
We teach students at our music school in Midland, Texas how to focus on what is important, in order to attain goals.
No matter what we’re trying to accomplish, there’s always a barrier of some kind to overcome, and it’s often something over which we have not control. Instead of focusing on the barriers, let’s work to become so good that we’ll succeed no matter how many bad calls the referee may throw at us. If you want to win, don’t complain about things beyond your control. Just be good enough to beat the ref.”
“It’s not about ‘us’ versus ‘them’ or ‘Why did they overbook the plane?’ or ‘Who dropped the ball?’ The better question is ‘What can I do right now to make a difference?’ Ownership: ‘A commitment of the head, heart, and hands to fix the problem and never again affix the blame.”
One of the most important values we hold at our music school in Midland, Texas is that of incremental daily progress. Over time, this will produce exponential results. And it all starts with assuming personal responsibility.
“Personal accountability is about each of us holding ourselves accountable for our own thinking and behaviors and the results they produce…Questions that contain an ‘I’ turn our focus away from other people and circumstances and put it back on ourselves, where it can do the most good.”
“Managers don’t change people. They can coach, counsel, teach, and guide, but no one changes another person. Change only comes from the inside, as a result of decisions made by the individual.”
At our music school in Midland, Texas we try to inspire our students to see what is possible by providing them with demonstrable examples in lessons.
“Frequently I’ll ask a group, ‘What’s the one thing you would change to improve the effectiveness of you organization? Nobody ever says, ‘Me! I would change me to make our organization run more effectively.’”
“The easiest thing to spot is gaps of integrity in others…The definition of integrity is this: ‘Being what I say I am by acting in accordance with my words.’”
“Believe or leave. Sound harsh? Maybe. But if the organization is no longer a vehicle to help us reach our life goals, why would we stay?”
“If we’re not careful, we can end up substituting the language of teams (‘we’ and ‘us’) for the language of personal accountability.”
“Modeling is the most powerful of all teachers…All QBQs focus on action. To make a QBQ action-focused, we add verbs such as ‘do,’ ‘make,’ ‘achieve,’ and ‘build’ to questions that start with ‘What’ or ‘How’ and contain an ‘I.’
“The practice of personal accountability: We discipline our thoughts. We ask better questions. We take action…A friend said, ‘It’s better to be one who is told to wait than one who waits to be told.”
- Action, even when it leads to mistakes, brings learning and growth. Inaction brings stagnation and atrophy.
- Action leads us toward solutions. Inaction at best does nothing and holds us in the past.
- Action requires courage. Inaction often indicates fear.
- Action builds confidence; inaction, doubt.
“Leadership, more than anything else, is about the way we think. It’s a moment-to-moment disciplining of our thoughts. It’s about practicing personal accountability and choosing to make a positive contribution, no matter what our role or ‘level.’”
“Leaders are not problem solvers but problem givers. They let others tackle the problem, design their own solutions, and take action. How else can people learn? How else can leaders serve?”
“Learning is really about translating knowing what to do into doing what we know. It’s about changing.”