Simple Truths of Leadership – Part 3

The following contains excerpts from the book, Simple Truths of Leadership (Ken Blanchard, Randy Conley).

“We wrote this book because we know a lot of people aren’t applying commonsense leadership principles in the workplace…Servant leadership and trust go hand in hand.”

This is another good book from Ken Blanchard’s collection.  Starting with the ‘One-Minute Manager’ series, all of his subsequent leadership books have easy to understand, cleanly stated, principles that work.

At our music school in Midland, Texas we believe that music is more than sound, it is relationships.  In life and in Leadership, relationships matter.

This book is a compilation of many principles, gathered from the author’s own writings, as well as other authors I am familiar with.  Since I have read many of Blanchard’s books, as well as those he has referenced, I was familiar with most of the principles laid out in the book.  However, he always finds ways of making things more understandable.

“The most persistent barrier to being a servant leader is a heart motivated by self-interest that looks at the world as a ‘give a little, take a lot’ proposition.  Self-serving leaders put their own agenda, safety, status, and gratification ahead of others who are impacted by the leaders’ thoughts and actions.  The shift from self-serving leadership to leadership that serves others is motivated by a change of heart.  If leaders don’t’ get their heart right, they will never become servant leaders.”

At our music school in Midland, Texas, our attitude is to serve those who have joined with us, helping them to achieve their goals and dreams, as we help them to identify their unique strengths, empowering them to succeed.

1. Leadership begins with trust.  “The most successful leaders realize their number one priority is to build trust with their team.”
2. Building trust is a skill that can be learned and developed.  The A, B, C, D Model:
   1. Able – Demonstrate competence
   2. Believable – Act with integrity
   3. Connected – Show care and concern for others
   4. Dependable – Honor commitments
3. Self-trust is the first secret of success.  “A leader without a clear purpose is like a ship without a rudder – it is taken wherever the wind blows.  List the key events and people in your life that have shaped your beliefs about leadership…What are your top three to five values when leading others?”

One great reason to study in our music school in Midland, Texas is learning to build self-trust through holding one’s self accountable to preparing for performance.  This is a life-skill well worth cultivating.

1. Someone must make the first move to extend trust.  Leaders go first.  “For trust to develop in a relationship, one party has to make the decision to extend trust in the hope it will be reciprocated…The way to make people trust-worthy is to trust them…Don’t trust blindly – that’s foolish.”
2. People admire your strengths, but they respect your honesty regarding your vulnerability.  Lead with humility.  Humble leaders put themselves on the same level as their team members and are willing to be real with others.  No pretenses, no masks – just you.”
3. There is no trust without us.  “Abraham Lincoln purportedly said, ‘I don’t’ like that man.  I must get to know him better.’”
4. Fear is the enemy of trust.  “I’ve observed many leaders manage people though fear and intimidation.  They think pointing out mistakes, being critical, or even yelling at team members will get them to perform better.  However, the long-term result is more likely to be people who either tune out the leader or fail to take initiative because they are afraid to make mistakes.”
5. A relationship with no trust is like a cell phone with no service or internet – all you can do is play games.  “Too many leaders treat relationships like a game.  They view their team members as pawns on the chessboard …Authenticity is an essential component of being a trustworthy leader.  People long to follow a leader who is sincere…Reveal information about yourself, engage people as individuals, acknowledge team member contributions, Listen to learn.”
6. People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.  “Remember people’s names and use them often.  Strike up a conversation about them – not about you.  Learn something about team members’ lives outside of work.  Share information about yourself when it comes up naturally.  Look for mutual interests.”
7. People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.  “Tell you team members how much you appreciate and value their work by catching them doing things right and praising them.  People never tire of being told they’re doing a good job.”
8. Your actions speak so loudly I cannot hear what you are saying.  “Walking you talk is the essence of integrity…when behavior lines up with your speech, you are complete, whole, and acting with integrity.”
9. Tell the Truth.  Always.  It’s that simple.  “The heart of trustworthiness is integrity – and you can’t have integrity unless you are honest.  Servant leaders always tell the truth.  It really is that simple.”
10. Don’t ever make a promise you can’t keep.  “Make sure you have the resources; Pinpoint how the promise connects to your core values; Identify the risks to your relationships should you fail to deliver; Write the promise on your to-do list or calendar.
11. There’s nothing so unequal as the equal treatment of unequals.  “Be transparent.  Share information liberally and frequently.  Increase involvement in decision-making.  Play by the rules.  Hold yourself and others accountable.  Don’t play favorites.  No one likes a teacher’s pet – so don’t create one.”
12. Trust is always trending.  Doing the right thing never goes out of style.  “Our values drive our decisions.  Servant leaders build trust because they are clear on the values that motivate their actions and guide their journey.”
13. True servant leaders admit their mistakes.  “When you admit a mistake, here are some best practices to follow:
    1. Be prompt.  Address the mistake as soon as possible
    2. Accept responsibility.  Own your behavior and any damage it caused
    3. Highlight the learning.  Let your team know what you have learned.
    4. Be brief.  Don’t over-apologize or beat yourself up.
14. Since we were given two ears and one mouth, we should listen more than we speak.
    1. Don’t interrupt.
    2. Make sure you understand.
    3. Listen for what’s not being said
    4. Stay in the moment

Another amazing character trait that is developed through studying music at our music school in Midland, Texas is learning to listen well.  Listening is different than hearing, as it requires attentiveness.

1. The most important part of leadership is what happens when you’re not there.  “Servant leaders develop and empower their people so that they will perform just as well, if not better, on their own as they do when the leader is present.”
2. The opposite of trust is not distrust – it’s control.  “As you become more comfortable giving up control and learn that others can be trusted, extend more trust as situations allow.”
3. People don’t resist change; they resist being controlled.  “One of the great myths about change is that people automatically resist it.  The truth is, most people don’t’ actually resist the change itself.  They resist being told to change and forced to go along with it.  In reality, they resist being controlled…The more leaders involve their team members in the change process – by soliciting their ideas and opinions and sharing information – the less controlled people feel and the more open they will be to the change effort.”
4. People without accurate information cannot act responsibly, but people with accurate information are compelled to act responsibly.  “Leaders who don’t trust others don’t share information.  They keep everything under lock and key.  In the absence of information, people often make up their own version of the truth, which may be more negative than reality.  When people don’t have accurate information, it’s as if their leader is handcuffing them from being their best…Create a culture of accountability by providing access to information…Be a straight shooter.  Your team members are adults who can handle the truth.

Gaining information is the first step toward improvement and a successful journey.  At our music school in Midland, Texas we value accurate training and informative lessons.

1. Building trust is a journey, not a destination.  “If you have eroded trust in a relationship: 1) Acknowledge…what behaviors need to change, 2) Apologize.  Take ownership of your role in eroding trust and express remorse.  3) Act.  Commit to not repeating the behavior and act in a more trustworthy way in the future.
2. A successful apology is essential in rebuilding trust.
   1. If you messed up, admit it.
   2. Don’t’ use conditional language life if or but
   3. Pick the right time to apologize
   4. Be sincere and express remorse
   5. Acknowledge the pain you caused
   6. Commit to not repeating the behavior
3. Apologizing is not necessarily an admission of guilt, but it is an admission of responsibility.  Three reasons to apologize even when you’ve done nothing wrong:
   1. Choose the relationship over being right
   2. Play the long game.  All relationships have conflict
   3. Take one for the team

At our music school in Midland, Texas we believe that assuming responsibility is the first step toward maturity, and we strive to cultivate that in our students, as they continue to grow.

1. Choosing not to forgive someone is like taking poison and waiting for the other person to die.  “When you choose not to forgive someone, it hurts only yourself.”
2. Forgiveness is letting go of all hope for a better past.
   1. Myth: Forgiving makes you a weakling or a doormat.  Wrong.  Allowing repeated violations of your trust is never a good idea, but forgiving others while adhering to healthy boundaries is a sign of strength.
   2. Myth: Forgiveness is dependent on the other person showing remorse.  Not true.  Whether or not the person who violated your trust apologizes or shows remorse for their behavior, the decision to forgive rests solely with you.  Forgiveness can’t be earned by the offender; it can only be given by the offended.