The following contains excerpts from the book, The Winner’s Edge (Denis Waitley).
At our music school in Midland, Texas we believe that music is more than sound, it is relationships. When discussing the subject of relationships, the concurrent subject of Leadership comes to the fore.
Denis Waitley wrote this landmark leadership book in 1980, which became an inspiration to many other Leadership materials, including much of John Maxwell’s writing.
Waitley introduces his thoughts, “As an investigator, I believe I have identified some fundamental denominators that appear to be common in people who become so uncommonly successful in reaching their goals…this book offers a ‘back to the basics’ approach to healthy behavior, supported by current research in the health sciences and by anecdotal evidence from the lives of ‘winners’ in many different arenas of society.”
One of the top priorities we have at our music school in Midland, Texas is to show honor to one another and to learn how to participate in the symbiotic experiences music can foster.
Winners
Waitley begins, “The real winners in the present and future world arena will be more often the champions of ‘cooperation.’ Rather than the champions of ‘competition.’ The ‘Win-Win’ playbook is the only one that can endure. ‘Win-Win’ means: ‘If I help you win, then I win too!’ The real winners in life get what they want by helping others get what they want. Independence has been replaced by interdependence…Winning is taking the talent of potential you were born with, and have since developed, and using it fully toward a purpose that makes you feel worthwhile according to your own internal standards. Happiness, then, is the natural by-product of living a worthwhile life. It is not a goal to be chased after or sought.”
The author admits, “All environments do not breed and nurture the winning spirit.” But, no matter the circumstances in which a person may find himself, attitude makes the difference, “…the critical attitude for success, the attitude that makes one realize it makes little difference what is actually happening in life, it is how you take it that counts.”
We believe that learning how to work together, particularly in ensemble playing, is one of the greatest benefits to studying music at our music school in Midland, Texas.
Self-honesty
In the chapter “Self-honesty,” he writes, “The first and most important element of that critical attitude for success that makes up the Winner’s Edge is self-honesty…winners take full responsibility for determining their actions in their own lives…These people, who feel that life is mostly determined by circumstance, predestination, or being at the right place at the right time, are more likely to give in to doubt and fear. Those who cannot make up their minds for fear of making the wrong choice, vacillating in indecision, simply do not achieve their goals- a requisite for success…People who are aware that they exert control over what happens to them in life are happier and are able to choose more appropriate responses to whatever occurs.” He goes on, “The winning human being realizes that everything in life is volition- even being alive. Everything is something I decide to do, and there is nothing I have to do.”
The habits we form in life are by choice, “We are not only victims of habits. In a very real sense, each of us becomes a prisoner of hundreds of restrictions of our own making…In the final analysis, we are the only ones from whom we can steal time and accomplishment…Self-development: it is understanding how much potential and abundance we have and how little we have done to challenge our minds…to be a healthy human being with a positive attitude under every circumstance is to ask ourselves the questions: ‘Is this true?’ ‘Is this honest?’…The real essence of awareness is that everything in life is volitional and that each of us has many more choices and alternatives than we are willing to consider.”
Developing healthy and successful habits is one of the most critical endeavors we are involved in at our music school in Midland, Texas. This ensures a trajectory of upward momentum for our students.
Self-esteem
In the chapter, “Self-esteem,” Waitley writes, “Winners develop strong beliefs of self-worth and self-confidence. They weren’t necessarily born with these good feelings, but as with every other habit, they have learned to like themselves through practice.” Waitley acknowledges the power of words in the process of creating an internal positive self-image, “Current research on the effects of words and images on the functions of the body offers amazing evidence of the power that words spoken at random can have on body functions monitored on bio-feedback equipment. Since thoughts can raise and lower body temperature, secrete hormones, relax muscles and nerve endings, dilate and constrict arteries, and raise and lower pulse rate, it is obvious that we need to control the language we use on ourselves. That’s why winners rarely put themselves down in actions or in words. But losers fall into the trap of saying: ‘I can’t’, ‘I’m a klutz’, and ‘I’ll try…”
He advises, “Don’t ever qualify yourself in advance. Never lead with your chin. Always put your best self forward. People will find out all they need to know about you in their own way without you volunteering your shortcomings.”
At our music school in Midland, Texas we make it a priority to encourage each student with positive affirmation that is honest and focused towards developing their strengths.
He continues, “It is a will-known psychological fact that the people who become offended the easiest have the lowest self-esteem. It is the person who feels undeserving, doubts his capabilities, and has a poor opinion of himself who becomes jealous at the drop of a hat. Jealousy, which is the scourge of many marriages, is nearly always caused by self-doubt. The person with adequate self-esteem doesn’t feel hostile toward others, isn’t out to prove anything, can see the facts more clearly, and isn’t demanding in his claims on other people.”
“The word esteem literally means appreciate the value of. Why do we stand in awe of the power and immensity of the sea, the uniqueness of a solar eclipse, the beauty of a flower, a giant redwood, or a sunset, and at the same time, down-grade ourselves? Didn’t the same Creator make us? It would be impossible to love another person without first feeling love for yourself, because how could you give away something that you don’t have?”
“Winners focus on past successes and forget past failures. They use errors and mistakes as a way of learning, then they dismiss them from their minds…Instead of comparing ourselves with others, we should view ourselves in terms of our own abilities, interest, and goals.”
“Perhaps the most important key to the permanent enhancement of self-esteem is the practice of positive self-talk. Every waking moment we must feed our self-images positive thoughts about ourselves and our performances, so relentlessly and vividly that our self-images are in time molded and modified to conform to new, higher standards.”
Our encouragement to students at our music school in Midland, Texas is that they find their own unique strengths and learn how to maximize those giftings through the practice of core disciplines. As they grow in their core conditioning, they begin to see their unique abilities shine, and confidence comes as a result.