The following contains excerpts from the book, The Art of Possibility (Benjamin Zander).
At our music school in Odessa, Texas we believe that music is much more than sound, rather, it is relationships. The subject of relationships envelops the understanding of Leadership. Relationships, leadership and community are enhanced and even defined by music and the arts.
“Historically, artists have been employed by leading institutions to bring emotional truth to established principles. Yet in our new global society, not institution has the wide acceptance to create values and direction for the majority of people. Markets in free societies are rapidly replacing governments and religious institutions as regulators of the highest authority, and markets perform without values…revolutionary shifts in the operational structures of our world seem to call for new definitions of who we are and what we are here for.”
Being the Board
“When the way things are seems to offer no possibility; when you are angry and blocked, and, for all your efforts, others refuse to move or cooperate, to compromise, or even to be halfway decent; when even enrollment does not work and you are at your wit’s end- you can take out this next practice: our graduate course in possibility. In this one, you rename yourself as the board on which the whole game is being played.”
“When I blame you for something that goes wrong, I seek to establish that I am in the right- and we all know the delicious feeling of satisfaction there. However, inasmuch as I blame you for a miserable vacation or a wall of silence- to that degree, in exactly that proportion, I lose my power. I lose my ability to steer the situation in another direction, to learn from it, or to put us in good relationship with each other. Indeed, I lose any leverage I may have had, because there is nothing I can do about your mistakes- only about mine…Grace comes from owning the risks we take in a world by and large immune to our control…Gracing yourself with responsibility…leaves you free to choose again…I know full well that every time I step onto a podium, I take a risk that things won’t turn out exactly as I anticipate them in my ear- but then, there is no great music-making without such risk taking.”
An important life-lesson we teach students in our music school in Odessa, Texas is that they must be willing to be vulnerable, and to step out to do something unfamiliar and sometimes uncomfortable, in order to see exponential growth.
He tells the story of a musician in his orchestra that he was counting on in a particularly demanding situation. She didn’t show up to the last rehearsal, and didn’t communicate that she wouldn’t be there through the proper channels. Finding her in the halls, he confronted her (angrily), “Cora, don’t you know that we have a rehearsal going on?’ Cora replied calmly, ‘But I told Lisa I wasn’t coming tonight.’ This made me even more furious….How could she be so nonchalant?” Later Cora resigned the orchestra, just a couple days before the concert, citing that she would not be ‘abused like that’.
One of the benefits of learning music in our music school in Odessa, Texas is in learning how to get along with others in a collaborative environment. Music and the arts are interesting, in that they require vulnerability in the participants. This vulnerability can give way to hurt feelings, if not approached with care. Learning how to successfully be involved in conflict/resolution is a valuable life-skill we coach students to participate in at our music school in Odessa, Texas.
Realizing within himself that he didn’t want to persuade her to come back, even though he needed her in the section for the important concert-recording, he decided to write the following letter, as Cora had been in one of his Friday classes, in which he distributed A’s to his students.
Dear Cora,
I got my A because I finally broke the cycle of lashing out a t people when they didn’t’ do exactly what I wanted them to do. I came to see that when I got angry with people or became sarcastic, it was like wiping them out, and our relationship never fully recovered.
It was hard for me to ‘get’ that what I wanted was not necessarily what they wanted. For example, if we were preparing an important and difficult concert and players didn’t come to a rehearsal or came late, I would be disappointed and angry because I thought that they should care as much about the project as I did and let nothing stand in the way of being there. Now I see that in a volunteer orchestra whose players have many other commitments, I cannot assume that everyone’s priorities are exactly the same as mine.
I have come to realize that people will do what they want to do-which means that sometimes they will come to rehearsal and sometimes they won’t – and I must respect their decisions. And if in my view they fail to adequately inform me of their intentions, I now ask them politely, to please, in the future, leave a message on the voice-mail, or inform the personnel manager directly, so that we can have some idea in advance of what to expect.
I see that conducting the BPO is an enormous privilege and that with it come certain risks: for instance, that I will not always have a full orchestra at important rehearsal. I know now that while I will do what I can to see that every chair is filled, I will accept the fact that this will not always be the case.
I have come finally to the realization that relationships with my colleagues, players, students, and friends are always more important than the project in which we are engaged; and that indeed, the very success of the project depends on those relationships being full of grace.
I have also realized that someone who stands up to me and is unwilling to accept abusive behavior is more of an ally than someone who goes along with it, either out of fear of resignation.
As a result of this breakthrough, I have a happier life, and so do the people with whom I interact. Even the music sounds better. So I thing I really deserve the A.
Thank you, Cora, for being brave enough to guide me to this realization. I have known it for a while, but last night I really got it, that it is more important to make this breakthrough than to persuade, cajole, threaten bribe, or charm you back into the orchestra. I have come to respect and appreciate you deeply. We will miss you.
Best wishes,
Ben
(Cora, did come back into the orchestra and play the concert. Zander has a continuing positive relationship with her. His motivation for the letter was not one of influence, but of honesty, being willing to let her go.)
One of the best approaches to life is to seek out truth. We insist that students, parents, and teachers communicate and interact on the solid foundation of truthfulness at our music school in Odessa, Texas. This, ultimately, will yield the greatest benefit for the student’s progress.
“When you are being the board, you present no obstacles to others…Imagine how profoundly trustworthy you would be to the people who work for you if they felt no problem could arise between you that you were not prepared to own. Imagine how much incentive they would have to cooperate if they knew they could count on you to clear the pathways for accomplishment…You do not find compassion simply by listening to people; you open the channel by removing the barriers to tenderness with you.”
The beginning of being a mature man or woman begins with the acceptance of responsibility. This is a crucial life-lesson that becomes evident in the study of music and the arts, especially when collaborating with others in an artistic endeavor. At our music school in Odessa, Texas we believe in helping students gain an appreciation for this crucial understanding in their development.