The following contains excerpts from the book, The 5 Essential People Skills (Dale Carnegie Training)
At our music school in Odessa, Texas we believe that music is more than sound, rather, it is relationships. Learning how to inter-relate with others is foundational to life, as well as the pursuit of studying music and the arts. Learning how to play in musical ensembles has deep immersive implications as to how we learn to deal with others, and can have life-changing benefits.
This book was primarily written from the standpoint of how to operate in a ‘workplace’ environment, and therefore is more from a ‘secular’ standpoint, but good leadership principles are shared, particularly in dealing with inter-personal relationships. As the authors wrote in their preface, quoting Dale Carnegie, “No matter what your line of work, even if it’s in one of the technical professions, your degree of success depends on your ability to interact effectively with other people.” The five essential people skills listed in the book are: 1) Rapport-building, 2) Curiosity, 3) Communication, 4) Ambition, and 5) Conflict resolution.
One cannot learn is one is not curious, at least in some degree. We try to foster an attitude of curiosity at our music school in Odessa, Texas in our students. Perhaps one of the greatest teaching methods is to lead the student to answer questions for themselves by directing them to ask the right questions. It is also important to make sure that the important questions are the ones that are pursued.
#2 Curiosity
Assertive curiosity is more about passion than about simply gathering facts. It’s about caring for what you want to learn, feeling real excitement for it, and conveying that excitement to the people around you. it involves seeing yourself as a student and as a purveyor of real knowledge. It’s about doing your best to keep on top of your filed, by gathering information both inside and outside your areas of expertise, and being at eh leading edge as often as possible. It’s about bridging the gap between theory and practice. Assertively curious people are eager to be challenged, and they’ll challenge others in return.
Listening is key. It’s about eliciting responses and drawing out people who are naturally quiet. To listen effective, learn to be flexible in adjusting to other people’s interests and having the confidence to admit that another point of view might be just as valid as you own.
One of the greatest lessons that can be learned at our music school in Odessa, Texas is the value of listening. Listening is important in music as well as all relationships.
There is nothing less interesting than a know-it-all (even if the person actually does happen to know a great deal). On the other hand, when managers make it clear that they are also seeking to learn and that their sense of curiosity is still alive and well, they are much more inspiring leaders.
Humor and curiosity go together, because both depend on the pleasure of surprise and the unexpected. In a practical sense, humor creates the kind of relaxed atmosphere that makes everyone want to listen and learn.
At our music school in Odessa, Texas we endeavor to create an atmosphere that is relaxed and fun.
Assertive curiosity means recognizing not only what other people want to learn but what they need to learn as well, sparking their curiosity to go ahead and learn it. This is especially true if you are in a supervisory role. Senior management should mentor curiosity for team members. Through a mentoring relationship, managers can see very clearly how well team members are seeking to expand their vision. Assertive curiosity should be fun. You should feel the excitement of wanting to explore a new topic, or see that you’ve kindled that excitement in others. Assertively curios managers aren’t doing it for the money. Curiosity is simply a part of who they are, and really curious people can’t imagine doing anything else.
At our music school in Odessa, Texas we mentor students, encouraging an inquisitive attitude. There are no bad questions, and we encourage curiosity and openness among our students.
In a group setting, assertive curiosity becomes genuinely interactive. Team members develop and share questions, insights, and solutions. When an assertively curious environment starts to come into being, managers and executives begin to think of themselves as educators, not just as bosses.
Out from this curiosity will come goals, and it is important to write these goals down with as much detail as possible. “For the vast majority of people, there’s an imaginary person looking over their shoulders. That imaginary person sees the number they’ve written as says, ‘Are you crazy? You’ll never make that much money in a hundred lifetimes!” Don’t let this imaginary observer make limiting decisions for you. Be aware that the imaginary observer has no more basis in reality than anything in your wildest dreams. The important thing is what you believe, or ever what you want to believe. If you believe that something is possible, even in your wildest dream, it is a goal worth striving for. The ability to move what’s in your mind to the minds of others is the real definition of communication.”
We enjoy fostering an awareness of community involvement and supportiveness among students in our music school in Odessa, Texas, where everyone feels valued and each are encouraged to see the potential in others.
As each student begins to discover their own personal uniqueness, they become more confident and are able to come out of themselves to begin seeing the unique giftedness in their colleagues. When this begins to happen, a synergistic effect begins to take place in the community of students and teamwork begins to form.
What begins to take shape is an awareness of the benefits of participation with one another, and the beginnings of interaction require the establishment of proper and successful communication, which is the subject of the next section.