The following contains excerpts from the resource, Dale Carnegie’s Secrets of Success (Carnegie Institute).
Having been a musician my entire life, I have seen many very talented and capable artists who were successful in their craft fail miserably in life as a result of poor relational skills.
One of the greatest experiences, in my opinion, an artist can have is in successful collaboration with others. The only way this can happen is when an individual grows in his or her capacity to get along with other people who may have vastly divergent viewpoints.
The number one principle of learning to relate well with others is to have a good relationship with one’s self. Living a principled life, contrary to popular thought, is the cornerstone to having a successful artistic journey. And when that journey includes others, it becomes even more rewarding.
After all, music is much more than sound, it in essence is relationships. It is through relationships that we experience meaning and truth in life.
In our music school in Odessa Texas, we hope to help students learn the secrets of success.
Following are key points of success that Carnegie put into practice and taught others to do the same, under the categories listed below.
How to:
Become a friendlier person:
- Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.
- Give honest, sincere appreciation.
- Arouse in the other person an eager want.
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Smile.
- Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
[We teach students in our music school in Odessa Texas the value of attentive listening, when it comes to making music, and this skill also translates into effective interpersonal relationships.]
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
- Make the other person feel important—and do it sincerely.
Win People to Your Way of Thinking:
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- Begin in a friendly way.
- Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
- Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
- Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
- Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
[We hope to instill in students in our music school in Odessa Texas the value of perceiving and serving their audience’s desires.]
- Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- Throw down a challenge.
Be a Leader:
- Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
- Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
- Let the other person save face.
- Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement.
[In our music school in Odessa Texas, we understand the value of positive reinforcement and authentic praise in the development of students, as they gain confidence in their abilities.]
- Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
- Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
- Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
Fundamental Principles for Overcoming Worry:
- Ask yourself, “What is the worst that can possibly happen?”
- Prepare to accept the worst.
- Try to improve on the worst.
- Remind yourself of the exorbitant price you can pay for worry interms of your health.
- Get all the facts.
- Weigh all the facts, then come to a decision.
- Once a decision is reached, act.
- Write out and answer the following questions:
- a. What is the problem?
- b. What are the causes of the problem?
- c. What are the possible solutions?
- d. What is the best possible solution?
- Break the Worry Habit Before It Breaks You
[Preparing students mentally for performance is one of our goals in our music school in Odessa Texas. Teaching them how to prepare for success will keep their thoughts positive helps them to step onto the stage with courage and confidence.]
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- a. Keep busy.
- b. Don’t fuss about trifles.
- c. Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries.
- d. Cooperate with the inevitable.
- e. Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth and refuse to give it more.
- f. Don’t worry about the past.
- Cultivate a Mental Attitude that will Bring You Peace and Happiness
- a. Fill your mind with thoughts of peace, courage, health and hope.
- b. Never try to get even with your enemies.
- c. Expect ingratitude.
- d. Count your blessings – not your troubles.
- e. Do not imitate others.
- f. Try to profit from your losses.
- g. Create happiness for others.
- The Perfect Way to Conquer Worry- Pray.
- Don’t Worry about Criticism
- a. Remember that unjust criticism is often a disguised compliment.
- b. Do the very best you can.
- c. Analyze your own mistakes and criticize yourself.
[As an artist who shares their talents publicly, it is unavoidable that criticism will come. We teach students in our music school in Odessa Texas how to maintain a positive outlook, even when people voice their opinions.]
- Prevent Fatigue and Worry and Keep Your Energy and Spirits High
- a. Rest before you get tired.
- b. Learn to relax at your work.
- c. Protect your health and appearance by relaxing at home.
- Apply these four good working habits:
- a. Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand.
- b. Do things in the order of their importance.
- c. When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts necessary to make a decision.
- d. Learn to organize, deputize and supervise.
- e. Put enthusiasm into your work.
- f. Don’t worry about insomnia.
This is all obviously good advice which will take a lifetime of practice to master.