The following contains excepts from the book, Make Your Bed (Admiral Willam H. McRaven).
At our music school in Odessa, Texas we believe that music is more than sound, it is relationships. One of the most important subjects under the umbrella of the understanding of relationships is Leadership. And one of the preeminent values, if not the most important, is how to lead one’s self.
We believe, at our music school in Odessa, Texas that self-mastery (or, learning to lead one’s self well) is at the heart of all successful leadership, and by extension, all successful relationships.
The book, Make Your Bed, was an extension of a commencement speech given by the author in 2014 at the University of Texas at Austin. The author, a Navy Seal, describes the lessons he learned in training, combat and leadership, applying these important life-lessons to everyone, regardless of their military service or not. He gives ten lessons, with stories to back them up.
Lesson 6: You Must Dare Greatly
“If you want to change the world…slide down the obstacle headfirst.”
The author describes a 30-foot tower, with a nylon rope stretching a hundred feet down to the ground. He tried to do this part of the obstacle course “with a caterpillar-like motion” and he ended up losing time in the overall course because of it.
One of his instructors challenged him, “That obstacle course is going to beat you every time unless you start taking some risks’…It was a simple lesson in overcoming your anxieties and trusting your abilities to get the job done.”
The author tells a story from later in his career. In Iraq, when he was in charge of a rescue mission that had to be conducted during the day, requiring helicopters to land in a very tight space, to speedily rescue hostages from Al Qaeda terrorists, he had to make the decision to move forward quickly, or risk losing the opportunity. He and his team took the challenge, and succeeded.
“Over the course of the next decade I would come to realize that assuming risk was typical of our special operations forces.”
“Life is a struggle and the potential for failure is ever present, but those who live in fear of failure, or hardship, or embarrassment will never achieve their potential. Without pushing your limits, without occasionally sliding down the rope headfirst, without daring greatly, you will never know what is truly possible in your life.”
At our music school in Odessa, Texas we understand that musicians and artists risk greatly when they make themselves vulnerable by bringing forth their talent and creativity publicly. It is this very act of risk-taking, however, that causes the student to exponentially grow.
Lesson 7: Stand Up to Bullies
“If you want to change the world…don’t back down from the sharks.”
The author tells the story about one of their training ocean swims. They had to cross an area filled with sharks, “Not just any sharks, but great white sharks, the largest, most aggressive man-eater in the ocean…There was something unnerving about being alone, at night, in the middle of the ocean, knowing that lurking beneath the surface was a creature just waiting to bite you in half.”
“Our goal, which we believed to be honorable and noble, gave us courage, and courage is a remarkable quality. Nothing and nobody can stand in your way. Without it, others will define your path forward. Without it, you are at the mercy of life’s temptations. Without courage, men will be ruled by tyrants and despots. Without courage, no great society can flourish. Without courage, the bullies of the world rise up. With it, you can accomplish any goal. With it, you can defy and defeat evil.”
The author describes being in charge of Saddam Hussein, after his capture. Even after his capture, the new Iraqi government leaders were afraid of him. “Although I was positive Saddam would no longer be a threat to the other men in the room, the Iraqi leaders were not so certain. The fear in their eyes was unmistakable…No one in Iraq had mustered the courage to challenge the tyrant.”
“Over the next month, I visited the small room every day. And every day Saddam rose to greet me, and every day without speaking, I motioned him back to his cot. The message was clear. He was no longer important…Courageous young American soldiers had stood up to his tyranny, and now he was no longer a threat to anyone.”
“Bullies are all the same; whether they are in the school yard, in the workplace, or ruling a country through terror. They thrive on fear and intimidation. Bullies gain their strength through the timid and faint of heart. They are like sharks that sense fear in the water.”
“In life, to achieve your goals, to complete the night swim, you will have to be men and women of great courage.”
Lesson 8: Rise to the Occasion
“If you want to change the world…be your very best in the darkest moments.”
The author describes the solemn assembly of a Ramp Ceremony at Bagram Air Base in Afghanistan. “It was America at its finest. Every man, every woman, regardless of their background, regardless of how heroic their final moments, was treated with incredible dignity and honor. It was our last salute, our final thanks, and a prayer to send them on their way home…Off to the right of the airplane was a small three-piece band softly playing, ‘Amazing Grace.’ At the head of the casket, the pastor bowed his head and read from Isaiah 6:8…As ‘Taps’ was played, tears rolled down the soldiers’ faces.”
“There is no darker moment in life than losing someone you love, and yet I watched time and again as families, as military units, as towns, as cities, and as a nation, how we came together to be our best during those tragic times.”
“At some point we will all confront a dark moment in life…In that dark moment, reach deep inside yourself and be your very best.”
Artists and musicians battle in the realm of ideas and the inner part of man’s experience. These battles can be just as serious as warfare in a remote country. Those who dare to wage war in the realm of the soul can also face dark forces that must be overcome. At our music school in Odessa, Texas we aspire to give students the tools with which to wage this kind of warfare successfully. It is a warfare of the mind, overcoming self-doubt and discouragement to bring forth freedom, joy and inspiration to others.
Lesson 9: Give People Hope
“If you want to change the world…start singing when you’re up to your neck in mud.”
The author describes Hell Week, in which he had to endure the infamous Tijuana mudflats. “It was six days of no sleep and unrelenting harassment by the instructors. There were long runs, open ocean swims, obstacle courses, rope climbs, endless sessions of calisthenics, and constant paddling of the inflatable boat small (IBS). The purpose of Hell Week was to eliminate the weak, those not tough enough to be SEALs.”
The instructors constantly enticed the students to give up. “Sounding like an old friend, he softly talked into a bullhorn and offered comfort to the suffering trainees. We could join him and the other instructors by the fire, he said. He had hot coffee and chicken soup. But then came the catch. All he needed was for five of us to quit…The student beside me started to move toward the instructor…I could see the instructor smiling. He knew that once one man quit, others would follow. Suddenly, above the howl of the wind came a voice. Singing. It was tired and raspy, but loud enough to be heard by all…One voice became two and two became three and then before long everyone was singing. The student rushing for the dry ground turned around and came back beside me…he began to sing as well.”
The instructor yelled for them to stop singing and none of them did.
This is the power of music: an indomitable spirit that brings people together! We believe in this power at our music school in Odessa, Texas.
“Once again, we had learned an important lesson: the power of one person to unite the group, the power of one person to inspire those around him, to give them hope. If that one person could sing while neck deep in mud, then so could we. If that one person could endure the freezing cold, then so could we. If that one person could hold on, the so could we.”
As the author was struggling to give true comfort to grieving families at Dover Air Force Base, he noticed Marine Lieutenant General John Kelly seeming to connect…‘I could sense that his words of sympathy…were having a profound effect on the grief-stricken parents and their children. He smiled and they smiled. He hugged and they hugged back. He reached out his hand and they grasped it tightly.”
“Only John Kelly could have made a difference that day…because only John Kelly knew what it was like to lose a son in combat. Marine First Lieutenant Robert Kelly was killed in Afghanistan in 2010 while serving…General Kelly and his family had struggled with the tragedy, just like the families at Dover that day. But the Kelly family had survived. They had endured through the pain, the heartache, and the inconsolable sense of loss.”
“John Kelly gave all those around him hope. Hope that in the very worst of times we could rise above the pain, the disappointment, and the agony and be strong. That we each had within us the ability to carry on and not only to survive but also to inspire others.”
“Hope is the most powerful force in the universe. With hope you can inspire nations to greatness. With hope you can raise up the downtrodden. With hope you can ease the pain of unbearable loss. Sometimes all it takes is one person to make a difference. We will all find ourselves neck deep in mud someday. That is the time to sing loudly, to smile broadly, to lift up those around you and give them hope that tomorrow will be a better day.”
Lesson 10: Never, Ever Quit!
“If you want to change the world…don’t ever, ever ring the bell.”
Recounting training, his instructor told the class, “‘I will do everything in my power to make you quit…I will harass you unmercifully. I will embarrass you in front of your teammates. I will push you beyond your limits…and there will be pain…But if you don’t like pain, if you don’t like all the harassment, then there is an easy way out…All you have to do to quit is ring this bell three times…But let me tell you something…if you quit, you will regret it for the rest of your life. Quitting never makes anything easier.’”
“Of all the lessons I learned in SEAL training, this was the most important. Never quit. It doesn’t sound particularly profound, but life constantly puts you in situations where quitting seems so much easier than continuing on. Where the odds are so stacked against you that giving up seems the rational thing to do.”
The author describes a young Army Ranger he met in a hospital who had stepped onto a pressure plate mine and had to have both his legs amputated. He was only nineteen years old, with burns all over his body, and had arrived in Afghanistan just a week earlier. The nurse “gently shook the young Ranger, who opened his eyes slightly and acknowledged my presence. ‘He can’t speak right now,’ the nurse said. ‘But his mother was deaf and he knows how to sign.’ The nurse handed me a sheet of paper with the various language symbols displayed on it…Slowly, painfully, he signed, ‘I – will – be – OK.’ And then he fell back asleep. As I left the hospital that evening I could not help but cry. Of the hundreds of men I talked with in the hospital, never once did anyone complain. Never once! They were proud of their service…Somehow Adam Bates personified all those men who had come before him.”
A year after my hospital visit in Afghanistan, I was at the Seventy-fifth Ranger Regimental Change of Command. There in the stands was Ranger Bates, looking sharp in his dress uniform and standing tall on his new prosthetic legs. I overheard him challenge a number of his fellow Rangers to a pull-up contest. With all he had been through – the multiple surgeries, the painful rehab, and adjusting to a new life – he never quit. He was laughing, joking, smiling – and just as he promised me – he was okay!”
“Life is full of difficult times. But someone out there always has it worse than you do. If you fill your days with pity…then life will be long and hard. If, on the other hand, you refuse to give up on your dreams, stand tall and strong against the odds – then life will be what you make of it – and you can make it great. Never, ever, ring the bell!
We encourage students in our music school in Odessa, Texas to reach within themselves and find the strength of character to stay the course, gain mastery over themselves by overcoming their fear of failure, their desire to quit, and to rise up to their potential for the purpose of serving their communities and bringing truth and beauty into the world.