The following contains excerpts from the book, Everyone Communicates, Few Connect (John Maxwell).
As artists and musicians, it is of the greatest importance that we learn to connect with our audience. That audience could be in a performance venue or in a business meeting, but connection is what will determine whether successful communication has taken place. We believe in our music school in Odessa, Texas that music is more than sound – it is relationships and building community. This cannot be achieved without successful communication, enabled by true connectedness.
The thesis of this book is to help people understand the difference between communicating and connecting. Maxwell not only gives a clear distinction between what is technically communicated, versus what is emotionally received by the audience, but he also candidly shares ‘trade secrets’ from his own personal development as a speaker/communicator. He deals with the broad concept connecting with an audience, making a case for the essential need for this to happen with every public speaker, as well as giving practical and specific tips to remove barriers in successful communication.
Maxwell states initially that “connection is everything, when it comes to communication. Good communication and good leadership is all about connecting. Connecting is the ability to identify with people and relate to them in a way that increases your influence with them. The ability to communicate and connect with others is a major determining factor in reaching your potential.”
The best way to connect with other is to have the mindset that puts others first. Maxwell states, “Connecting is all about others.” When people see themselves as the center of the conversation, they prohibit the connection process. They may focus on the details of what they are trying to say, but leave no room for the ‘dialogue’ process of interaction with the ones with whom they are trying to communicate. Good communicators don’t see themselves as experts trying to impress an audience, but rather as ‘guides’ trying to help people along the journey of knowledge and learning. Because they value others, they work hard to connect with those to whom they are speaking.
We endeavor to teach students in our music school in Odessa, Texas the value of maintaining an attitude of service, or servanthood in all that they do.
Successful communicators know that people always are asking the question, “Can this person help me?” Ultimately, people want to know three things: 1) Do you care about me?, 2) Can you help me?, and 3) Can I trust you?
Communication can be broken down into three components: 1) Words, 2) Facial expression, and 3) Body language. Sometimes verbal and non-verbal communication becomes inconsistent, giving a confused message. “What we say accounts for only 7% of what is conveyed. The way we say it accounts for 38%. What others see accounts for 55%. Amazingly more than 90% of what we often convey has nothing to do with what we actually say.” Make sure to connect on four levels: 1) Visually, 2) Intellectually, 3) Emotionally, and 4) Verbally. Your attitude often overpowers the words you use when speaking to people.
How an artist presents himself or herself in bod language is critically important in communicating confidence with an audience. We teach students in our music school in Odessa, Texas to be aware of how they are using their body to convey a positive attitude.
Great communicators are successful due to: 1) Great relationships. “One of the quickest ways to gain credibility with a group, individual or an audience is to borrow it from someone who already has credibility with them. It’s the basis of sales referrals and word of mouth advertising.” 2) Insight (what you know). “If you have an area of expertise and generously share it with others, you give people reasons to respect you and develop a sense of connection with you.” 3) Success (what you have done). “If you are successful with anything you do, there will be people who want to listen to you.” 4) Ability (what you can do). “Individuals who perform at a high level in their profession often have instant credibility with others. When they speak others listen, even if the area of their skill has nothing to do with the advice they give.” 5) Sacrifice (how you have lived). Our hearts naturally go out to people who have sacrificed or suffered. If you have sacrificed, overcome obstacles or painful circumstances, many people will relate to you. And if you have been able to remain positive in overcoming life’s difficulties other people will admire you and want to learn from you.
We hope to give students in our music school in Odessa, Texas positive experiences to build upon, which continues to build their confidence, as they present their art and music to others.
As a communicator, it is always important to see the communication process as “finding common ground”. Asking questions and doing research about those you will be speaking to helps you know your audience successfully. “To move others, we must first be willing to move ourselves to where they are. We must adapt to others and try to see things from their point of view.” Four questions to ask yourself: 1) Do I feel what you feel? (before asking, “Do you feel what I feel?”). 2) Do I see what you see? (before asking, “Do you see what I see?”) 3) Do I know what you know? (before asking, “Do you know what I know?”) 4) Do I know what you want? (before asking, “Do you know what I want?”) That requires you to go beyond the head and consider the heart. Find out: What do people dream about? What do they sing about? What do they cry about? There is no more important aspect to communication than finding common ground. It’s the place where people can discuss differences, share ideas, find solutions, and start creating something together. Communication is much more than the process of transferring information to others. Communication is a journey. The more that people have in common, the better the chance that they can take that journey together.
One of the most important things an artist can do is to understand the ‘language’ of their community. This is always changing, and must be studied ongoingly. We teach students in our musi9c school to be perceptive to the cultural language of the community they endeavor to serve.
Effective communicators keep it simple. In the end people are persuaded by what they understand, not by what we say. In a given talk never share more than three main points, and don’t include more ideas unless they fit exactly into the subject matter.
Effective communicators keep it interesting. “There are no bad audiences. If the audience is asleep, then somebody needs to go on stage and wake up the speaker!” Your first responsibility as a speaker is to gain and keep the audience’s attention. Great communicators take responsibility to other’s response to them, even in tough settings and difficult conditions.
Effective communicators are authentic. You have to learn to be yourself even while speaking someone else’s language.
Get people’s attention early. You don’t have much time to get people to ‘tune in’ before they turn off. Once they turn off, it’s difficult to win them back.
Get people involved. This can be done by: 1) having people take notes, 2) have people repeat what you say to one another, 3) change settings, like going for a walk (with an individual), 4) Have people introduce themselves to others around them, 5) Put people into discussion groups
Say it so it sticks. Patrick Henry, “Give me liberty or give me death.” Abraham Lincoln, “A government of the people, by the people and for the people.” Winston Churchill, “Never, never, never give up.” Martin Luther King, Jr., “I have a dream.” If you want people to remember what you say, you need to say the right thing at the right moment in the right way. The importance of how something is worded cannot be underestimated.
Great communicators expect a response, action based upon what has been communicated. Inspiring communicators always expect a lot from their listeners.
To inspire people, there are three things you must make them feel: 1) Your passion for the subject and them. 2) People need to feel your confidence in yourself and them. 3) People need to feel your gratitude for them.
We hope to inspire passion for music in the lives of the students in our music school in Odessa, Texas. This passion is contagious and will always be felt by the audiences they serve.
Great communicators are credible. They live what they speak. The first six months of a relationship communication overrides credibility. But after that actions of credibility override communication. When a person is credible, the longer the time, the better it gets. For someone who lacks credibility, the longer the time, the worse it gets. Credibility is currency for leaders and communicators. With it, they are solvent, without it, they are bankrupt. With it, leaders continue to connect with people. Without it, they disconnect.
Great communicators are honest with themselves. Once we are honest with ourselves, we can be honest with others. The first step toward connecting with ourselves is in knowing ourselves. That comes from self-assessment. The irony is that we need to spend time focusing on ourselves to that we can become free to take the focus off ourselves and put it on others.
These are all successful and important thoughts not only for a speaking communicator, but also any form of communication. Applying these principles to music and the arts will be evidently successful.