The following contains excerpts from the book, 25 Ways to Win With People (John Maxwell).
I have been a musician for the majority of my life, and as I have grown as a musician and artist, my understanding of what makes music successful has also developed over the course of time. I used to think of music as “organized sound.” This is an accurate description of music, from a purely naturalistic standpoint; however, as I pondered why anyone should give so much time and energy in this field, I began to search deeply for what societal benefit music contributes.
I have come to believe that music is not only sound, but it is also, and more importantly, relationships. Relationships involve the subject of leadership.
In our music school in Odessa Texas, we hope to help students see the value of learning Leadership.
The overall concept of the book, “25 Ways to Win with People” is about developing skills and life-attitudes that encourage the capacity to influence others relationally. The ability to put others first, to serve them, giving to them and helping them succeed is not always something that comes naturally to an individual, so working to develop these characteristics must be intentional, which is the central theme of the book.
Following are the 25 characteristics Maxwell sets forth:
1. Start with Yourself. “Your relationships can only be as healthy as you are” (Neil Clark Warren).
[One of the most valuable lessons we can teach students in our music school in Odessa Texas is how to lead themselves, both through personal discipline and in honest personal assessment.]
2. Practice the 30-Second Rule. (Say something encouraging to people in the first 30 seconds of the conversation.) “He who waits to do a great deal of good at once, will never do anything” (Samuel Johnson).
3. Let People Know You Need Them. “The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when someone asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer” (Henry David Thoreau).
[Helping students in our music school in Odessa Texas see the value of other musician’s uniquenesses is the first step towards successful collaboration.]
4. Create a Memory and Visit it Often. “Memory is the treasury and guardian of all things” (Cicero).
5. Compliment People in Front of Other People. “Admonish thy friends in secret, praise them openly” (Publilius Syrus).
[Even though as artists, we all have opinions (and many of them, quite strong), we encourage students in our music school in Odessa Texas to always have a kind word for a fellow artist, and to show honor to what they see as beautiful in their craft.]
6. Give Others a Reputation to Uphold. “Treat a man as he appears to be and you make him worse. But treat a man as if he already were what he potentially could be, and you make him what he should be” (Goethe).
[As teachers in our music school, in Odessa Texas, we see the potential in each student and endeavor to help them see that potential, as well.]
7. Say the Right Words at the Right Time. “No man has a prosperity so high or firm, but that two or three words can dishearten it; and there is no calamity which right words will not begin to redress” (Ralph Waldo Emerson).
8. Encourage the Dreams of Others. “Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great” (Mark Twain).
9. Pass the Credit on to Others. “If each of us were to confess his most secret desire, the one that inspires all of his plans, all his actions he would say: “I want to be praised”” (E.M. Cioran).
10. Offer Your Very Best. “I do the very best I know how – the very best I can; and I mean to keep on doing so until the end” (Abraham Lincoln).
[We expect every student in our music school in Odessa Texas to give their best effort, comparing success only to themselves, having the attitude, ‘Have I made progress today?”]
11. Share a Secret with Someone. “Conceal not your secret from a friend, or you deserve to lose him” (Portuguese Proverb).
12. Mine the Gold of Good Intentions. “To err is human; to forgive is not company policy” (Unknown).
13. Keep Your Eyes off the Mirror. “I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve” (Albert Schweitzer).
14. Do for Others What They Can’t Do for Themselves. “You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you” (John Bunyan).
15. Listen with Your Heart. “The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said” (Peter Drucker).
16. Find the Keys to Their Hearts. “Coaches who can outline plays on a blackboard are a dime a dozen. The ones who succeed are those who get inside their players and motivate them” (Vince Lombardi).
[As teachers in our music school in Odessa Texas, we endeavor to motivate students from the core of their individual uniqueness, and help them see themselves with objectivity and hope.]
17. Be the First to Help. “After the verb “to love,” “to help” is the most beautiful verb in the world” (Berth Von Suttner).
18. Add Value to People. “Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value” (Albert Einstein).
19. Remember a Person’s Story. “Many a man would rather you heard his story than granted his request” (Phillip Stanhope).
20. Tell a Good Story. “The universe is made of stories, not atoms” (Muriel Rukeyser).
21. Give with No Strings Attached. “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is: What are you doing for others?” (Martin Luther King, Jr.)
22. Learn Your Mailman’s Name. “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language” (Dale Carnegie).
23. Point Out People’s Strengths. “The praises of others may be of use in teaching us, not what we are, but what we ought to be” (August W. Hare).
24. Write Notes of Encouragement. “The power of words is immense. A well-chosen word has often sufficed to stop a flying army, to change defeat into victory, and to save an empire” (Emile De Girardin).
25. Help People Win. “The most important measure of how good a game I played was how much better I’d make my teammates play” (Bill Russell).
Doing the above principles may be counter-intuitive on some points, but learning to master them will ultimately bring multiplied success in life, relationships, and artistic endeavors.